


Retribution

by raynoremmas



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21991048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raynoremmas/pseuds/raynoremmas
Summary: Killua feels hopeless and Kurapika gives some insight. Killupika if u squint. Light spoilers; makes more sense if you've finished the anime!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Retribution

The snowy-haired boy took the last sip of his apple juice before getting up to take his cup to the sink.

“Hey, will you take mine too? I’m done with it for now,” the blond picked up his cup, holding it out toward him. 

“Yeah, sure.” Killua reached out to take the cup from Kurapika’s slender fingers. Inside, there were a few sips of black coffee remaining. Killua sighed, walking over to the kitchen, “I don’t know how you drink that stuff, it isn’t sweet at all.” He muttered as he began washing the dishes. He then dried his hands and sat back down on the couch. The two had been living together ever since Killua and Gon had a falling out a few months ago. Kurapika was an easy roommate. He always kept his things in his room. Killua kept the apartment pretty tidy, but never went towards Kurapika’s room. He knew it was probably a mess in there, seeing as he holed up in there most of the time. 

Kurapika let out a small laugh, “Maybe when you’re older you’ll like it.” He stayed sitting in his spot across the couch from Killua’s spot, but he closed his laptop. 

“Doubt it,” Killua retorted. “You’re not much older than me. Are you done with work today?” 

“I’m old enough to have taste. Not necessarily. There’s always more that needs to be done,” he sighed, running his fingers through his soft, light hair. His earring dangled as his hand bumped into it. 

“‘Taste’ my ass. That stuff is gross.” Killua scrunched up his nose, receiving a light chuckle from his roommate. 

“Not to me,” he simply stated, then blinked. “By the way, what’s been bothering you lately? I noticed you’re not eating as much as you usually do.” He frowned slightly, gray-blue eyes glancing over to Killua’s piercing blue eyes that looked like he’d been caught off-guard for a split second.

Killua shrugged, hiding away his emotions, “Just haven’t been too hungry, I guess.”

He was a seasoned liar, but Kurapika didn’t miss his slip-up in the slightest. “You can tell me, Killua.”

He let out an irritated groan. “It’s not a big deal. Besides, you’re the last one who should be preaching to me about taking care of myself!” He took this opportunity to prod Kurapika’s chest in annoyance. 

The other boy grunted, “I suppose that’s fair, but still.” Kurapika pressed on. He knew he didn’t take the best care of himself, but he wanted to make sure Killua maintained his health. He worked hard to provide for the both of them, as Killua couldn’t move back in with his terrible parents and he refused to make up with Gon. 

“You don’t have to worry about it, I’m fine,” he insisted, desperately wanting to change the conversation. He knew that if he brought up the issue, he might not be able to control his sadness. “I’m an adult now, I can handle myself.”

Kurapika let out an exhausted sigh. He didn’t want to bring it up, but he would if he had to in order to get Killua to talk about the issue. “Really? Then have you thought about how you and Gon are going to make up?” 

Killua froze momentarily before letting out a sarcastic laugh, “What is there to fix? It’s pretty clear to me that Gon wants nothing to do with me.” He balled his hand into a fist, digging his nails into his palm. It was clear he was upset by Kurapika’s insisting. 

When they decided to move in together, Killua had called him crying. He had sounded absolutely exhausted. It was a no-brainer to take Killua in rather than send him home with his parents. However, they’d been rooming together for several months now, and Killua had been quiet about the details with Gon. “What does that mean?” He tilted his head slightly in confusion. 

Killua took a few moments to be silent and remind himself to breathe. He slowly unclenched his fist and sighed. “I guess not talking about it won’t make it go away, huh?” his voice sounded defeated, but there were waves of agitation rippling beneath the surface.

Kurapika shook his head in agreeance. “You can tell me what happened.” He had always thought that maybe Killua had lost his temper over a serious fight, as he was quick to do so with Gon. But, after Killua had asked his rhetorical question, he didn’t think that was the case. 

“It’s more of what didn’t happen,” he scoffed. Killua leaned back against the couch, letting his hands take the familiar position behind his head. They sat in silence for a few moments while Killua gathered his thoughts. 

Patience wasn’t a virtue of Kurapika’s, but this was his closest friend. He cared for him more deeply than he’d probably ever admit. He was willing to sacrifice a bit of himself to make him feel better. Despite his high-strung, deceptive personality, he was calm and open around Killua. 

“We’ve been friends for years. I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I’m always cleaning up after his selfish acts.” Killua looked up at the ceiling, gazing at imaginary clouds full of bittersweet memories. He grit his teeth, “He jumps at any opportunity to throw himself into danger, without thinking about the consequences or how it would make others feel.”

Kurapika softened, “I can’t disagree with that,” he started, but was cut off by Killua’s shaking voice. 

“Neither can I. Yet, he had the audacity to tell me it was ‘none of my business’ whenever we fought last,” his voice faltered, but then strengthened again. “I know it seems like a silly thing to be upset over, but it really hurt.” He avoided Kurapika’a gaze. “After all these years, I’ve sacrificed so much for him. How could I not after he helped me escape from my shitty family? He helped me do the one thing I dreamed of doing my entire life, but was too weak to do.” He clenched his jaw again. “I thought I owed it to him.” he paused. “But he took advantage of that. He used me time and time again to further his agenda, without even thinking about how it would feel for me.” 

It was now apparent to Kurapika that he had opened the floodgates. His eyes were full of pity. Killua was young, but had experienced so much, just like him. He felt empathetic toward him. He never had abusive parents, but he imagined how alone Killua must feel right now. Gon was his rock when he lost control of himself. He was always there to distract Killua from his own problems, regardless of whether it was a healthy distraction. 

“None of my business…” he scoffed, resting his arm over his slightly wet eyes. He threw on a sarcastic smile, and dried his eyes. “I guess this is my retribution, huh?” He wasn’t asking, but stating the fact. 

Kurapika shook his head. “It’s easy to feel like things are your fault. When I lost my family,” he started, inhaling a sharp breath, “For years, I thought about all the what-ifs. What if I had made it back on time? What if I never left?” He paused. “But, the fact is that you can’t change the past. I think we all were born with a right to live and grow, regardless of what your parents have drilled into you. It’s a bit silly to believe in something like divine punishment, yeah?” He smiled bitterly. “Though, I guess I’m a hypocrite for saying that,” he laughed softly. “I guess we’re both stuck on the same thing, in a way.”

Killua sighed and shook his head, chuckling, “I guess so, huh.”

Kurapika was never one for physical affection, and neither was Killua. But he found himself unable to stop from leaning to Killua’s side to embrace him. He wrapped his arms around the younger boy, fingers tangling in his soft snow-white hair. “I wish there was more I could do for you, Killua.”

Killua let his body relax against him, wrapping his arms around Kurapika’s back. He rested his head on his shoulder, digging his nails softly into his back while returning the embrace. “This is more than enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This fic is a huge self-insert for me. I had a ton of fun writing it. It was nice stress relief. I kept their relationship vague because it's up to you for interpretation. I hope you enjoy. I will be releasing a part 2 when I get around to it. Thank you. :)


End file.
